With blade and breath they seek my doom

With one hand they offer counsel but with the other they seek to upsurp me!!! God, Lord of the rings is a class film. I’m just after watching the 1st Cd of the extended version of Return of the King and it was as good as ever. I was just saying that Peter Jackson is such a good director that he is able to leave entire battles out of shot, such as the failed retaliation against the orcs in Osgiliath and still keep you hooked, you could say ‘He picks his battles’!!!!! HAHAHA actually I did say that, susan thought it was funny too, well she chortled a bit…I think.

Anyway I digress. The poetic title is not just the influence of Tolkien speech but also what I thought when I discovered a nefarious plot being planned by the very people I thought I could trust. It’s a long story but stick with me; a few days ago when it was really hot Susan said she could bring me down to the beach for a swim or to the lake. I decided on the lake cuz it looked prettier and would probably be cleaner. The next day I was talking to the girls in work and they said I should have gone to the beach as it is really nice as well. It is pretty calm as it is in a big bay called Penobscot Bay which is slightly smaller than Galway Bay. They even said that we would all go next week perhaps.

So I’m thinking the same as you probably are, “What nice people, how lucky am I!”. SO today I was reading this book about a local seal called Andre. It turns out Andre is a bit of a celebrity like Fungie the dolphin back home. As I read on however I was filled with bone-numbing dread. You see Andre had a brother called Biscuit or something and he would also swim around the boats in the bay. But one day while he was following a boat he disappeared, and when the fisherman went to investigate he found Biscuit……….AND A GREAT FUCKING WHITE SHARK!!!!!! After a bit of research I found out that Penobscot Bay is a ‘casual feeding area’ for Great Whites and there is even an Island called White Shark Island in the bay. Now those of ye who know me know that I have a completely irrational fear of sharks and even feel very nervous, nay scared shitless swimming in a fresh-water man-made canal 60 miles from the coast or even sometimes in swimming pools so ye can imagine how I feel about going swimming in the ocean where there are Great White carnivorous ruthless freakishly fucking scary sharks within 15 miles!! It aint going to happen people. Of course no-one has ever been attacked by one but I would not want to be the first. I had foolishly told the wankers in work about my shark thing a while back and they thought it funny not to tell me cuz, rest assured, it was one of the first things I asked when I got here “Do you have man-eating sharks?”. Next thing they will tell me that they have Sasquach’s………On a completely different topic, me and Susan are going camping next week.