Family Affairs

Okay so since Pa put forward such a convincing argument and since I actually have something to write about I said I would blog. First of all, a disclaimer. It is Midnight as I write this and I have been drinking since 2 thi9s afternoon so I accept no responsibility for the spelling mistakes included here within or for the slightly sentimental tone that all drunken musings take.. I may even expose this to a spell-checker before I actually post it on work either tomorrow or the day after but I promise nothing.

S o the reason I am slightly inebriated is that today we buried my uncle Sean. He had been sick for a while and I had been expecting a call while I was down in West Cork about the bad news,, which I got last Thursday. I came back up home on Sunday and we have been kind of busy since. I had to break out my suit from its containment and went to the removal last night and the funeral today. As I am one of the ‘men’ I was standing in Cross’s funeral home and shaking hands with all the mourners. It went on for an hour and my hands were killing me after. The strange thing was, and this was with everybody, that we were all grand and even cracking some jokes until y the time came to close the coffin and then suddenly everybody, myself included were in bits.

This morning at the funeral was the same, we were all grand until the very end of the Mass when they started singing ‘The Fields Of Athenry’, a song that was very fitting considering that my uncle Sean was a huge Munster rugby fan and, even though he was in a wheel-chair, went to most of the Munster matches around Europe. We actually were going to have the Heineken Cup as one of the offerings but, even though we had permission to use the cup, we decided against it as it would have taken away from the mass. Anyway, I was in bits once they started singing that, I don’t think I will be able to listen to that for a long time without getting sad. It wil be added to ‘Fields Of Gold’ as a song I cannot think of without feeling a wee bit weepy. So when ever I had to actually face people I was usually blubbering away to myself but for 90% of the rest of the time I was grand. I am hard as nails I swear.

My uncle was a bachelor who really lived life to the limit, even though his illnesses put limits on his enjoyments of several things but he dies after a long long time ill so the last few days wer3e really a celebration of his life rather than a mourning of his death. Funerals usually sadden me, not only because I will miss the person in question, but because I am sorry for the loss and grief that their death cause the family. In my uncles case we were the family and since he had nobody relying on him there was not that air of despondency around the occasion. Sean had a good fulfilled life and even managed to see Munster win the Heinekin cup which was a huge thing fo him, he would have been pleased as punch if we had had the cup for his funeral.
What I really learnt and what made me sad over the last few days is that I have gotten to know my cousins and family and learnt how much I have missed over the years by not taking advantage of what a complete legend of a family I have. I spent most of the day today in the bar after the funeral with my two older cousins aged 28 and 33 whom I have not spoken to for at least 10 years and getting pretty drunk with them. We got on like a house on fire and I really hope I will see em again. I have arranged to take my cousin’s kids to the cinema tomorrow and will take Gavin and my younger cousins as well. I really want to stay in proper touch and have got the number but I am kind of depressed as I don’t really see it happening as, even though all my family live in Limerick, we only see each other on special occasions and don’t know each other that much. The two cousins in question have always been really older that me and this is the first time that we have all been together as ‘adults’ and able to speak as such but they are both sound as a bell and we just spent the evening drinking Red-Bul and Coke and just pissing ourselves, I did not realise that such a thing was possible with my cousins but I hope it will happem again some time soon in the future.

I also got talking to my aunts and uncles and my second and third cousins and just singin songs for the evening. I am known amoung my relations as Paul the Wonder as I am really the first who has finished college and I get a good bit of ribbing about it but I as talking to relations I have not seen for a very long time and just found out that that while some of my cousins are doing very well for themselves, others have gone a bit astray. I realised tonight that a few of my cousins that i was the same age as and very friendly with when I was younger have now families and two in particular are major drug dealers in Limerick. It turns out that I have pretty close ties to the infamous St Mary’s Park Ryan family, something I never copped on to. Its good to have contacts though, incase I ever need anyone bumped off, Liam I am looking at you. For all these guys faults their mother was like an aunt to me we were talking and singing for ages, it had been an age since we spoke and got on like a house on fire.

So today I realised tha ti actually have an extended family. I have never really thought of myself as a family man and dismissed my cousins as people I see rarely and have little to say to but realised today that I have been missing out on a lot. Having two older cousins is weird since I a m used to only having an older sister but seeing my cousin and his two kids I realised that there is a lot more to my family that I had originally thought. I found cousins and distant relations I did not know existed and having that much ‘blood’ relations actually was very cool. I am kind of depressed in a way cuz I know that a gathering like this one will not happen again for a long time but hopefully now I will manage to stay in touch with at least a few of hem that I was not talking to before.